My independence throws my need to be dependent into a realm of controversy
See, I want love but donít need the heartache,
I want hugs but your body is too far away,
I need your kisses but donít want to be your mistress,
I donít want a commitment, but I need an understanding without being demanding
Should we trust this lust and continue to nut bust
or look deeper into something sweeter
Plant hypothetical seeds so that we can lay under the breeze created by the trees
Am I just thinking too much?
I want you in me but not just inside, I also want you to take a trip to my mind
No inception though, there are things that you still donít need to know
A few insecurities that eventually can be let go and although slow it just requires some trust
I am willing if you are not scared to sit down in hypothetical chairs
Speak of a hypothetical life
Realistic dreams and petty conversations about cookies and ice cream
Figure out if we can move past our sex,
become friends not just lovers, but not sister and brother nor man and wife, somewhere in the
middle and something that we will both like,
I simply donít want to fight or wrestle with my mind any longer about the possibilities that could or could not be except these feelings grow stronger
Nights turn into days and time always slips away never to regain
Again, am I just thinking too much?
Iím afraid to hear words that donít quote those which are already in my headÖ
Would it be worse to be dead instead of this dreadful experience?
I am carrying this pain like a trophy
my heart is glass and fragile at best I donít think it can endure another test.
Confusion creates craters of doubt and doubt is a venomous infection that spreads
I give up, I am thinking too much
I need to share my secret because what he did was crazy,
I was wrapped into his world like a rubber band to a ball,
Lost with no way out and his wants of me given willingly,
Selfishly taking and by his conscience never receiving.
The lust we made was beautiful and deep
Melodies escaped my body like the instruments he played so well
Lost is where i fell so deep that behind my back she creeped
The place i worked so hard to be in belonged to another...and still he seemed to be in me, so deep
Heart hurting, me claiming to be strong, friends with their countless opinions and me with one,
Our end marked a new beginning and now my role had been reversedÖ
I was now second instead of first
I fell all over again into my familiar place but the melody had changed,
Lost calls, lost messages, phones stopped singing
Enveloped by whose greedÖmine or his
Lost with no map sitting on a globe hopeless
All those tears that never asked to be here
Whose yearning, his or mine,
Explicit messages exchanged in the heat of the night
Sneaking now forbidden fruit from a tree once planted in my delicate yard
Itís the only thing I know so how can it be no good
The truth of the matter is I wonít ever let myself know
I like the way it sits.
except it would sit bitter on my lips
Want my tongue to taste and kiss
that sweet member called your dick
Or maybe u can slide between my thighs &
treat my other lips to the pleasure thatís your dick.
Knowing when to let go is easier done then said.
When words leave our lips, they halt actions that were vital to our existence
Next time trust your instinct and do the right thing don't think.
her eyes they were missing because she removed them now she walks around everyday looking for them not seeing whatís
reality because it was too much as if searching for what should have been seen that is now avoided is better. dull is the pain that lingers from the holes in side her
pretty head. resting no more on her face the tears are flowing all over the place where people wonít be able to see.... flooded is the heart that carries the eyes and allows all
those lies to stay. one day no more lies will fill her heart as it waits
for the spark that was never really lit well and yet she does it every day.
they were missing because she removed them
now she walks around everyday looking for them
not seeing whatís reality because it was too much
as if searching for what should have been seen
that is now avoided is better.
dull is the pain that lingers from the holes in side her pretty head.
resting no more on her face the tears are flowing
all over the place where people wonít be able to see....
flooded is the heart that carries the eyes and allows all those lies to stay.
one day no more lies will fill her heart as it waits for the spark
that was never really lit well
and yet she does it every day.
Wouldnít it be a trip
If my tongue was pressed against ur lips
While your clothes I gently unclip
Hmmm damn I got the urge to rip
All your clothes off and take a sip
But all I can do is bite my underlip
Wouldnít it be a trip
if our two hips
Connected like our two lips
Hmm just thinking about it makes me want to flip
As my two lips
Works its way down to your two nips
And suck on them until ur body dips
Then itís time for ur slit my tongue to slip
Because I just wanna suck on ur TULIP
Until it drip drip drips
Right on my lip lip lips
I let you in even when i know that deep down your no good for me
you only want to rest your tounge between my clit when the mood strikes
you only want to feel your hands run the arch in my back when youve had a long day and she is not around
but when i need you, to feel you, to taste you, to surround you with my tender wet walls
your no where to be found.
the names change, the players change
but this game that i cant stop playing never changes
they all leave in the end only to return when they need another fix
who stays here for me though.......
and again i quote never again once more
until another one just like you but who isnt you approaches
and im guided once again by the phatness between these thick thighs and am left unguided by his eyes
When i cried my last tears
when i say my final goodbye
when i have heard my last lie
When i have yelled my last word
who do i run too?
my heart aches
and it breaks
people say one thing, but their actions suggest another
and again im left with all the sorrow
my back is not that broad
but i try to stretch it to hold all
so who do i run too?
when this pain that i carry is yours not mine.
She no longer cries when sad
she doesnt shout when mad
she doesnt jump when scared
or even stop to stare.
she doesn't love in return
she doesnt help heal the burn
the pain has left her cold and numb
the shell she is in knows nothing of what or who it used to hold
but like a catipiller this life must end and to us she is born again
a beautiful butterfly will spread its wings and shake off all those ugly things
this life has been given back to her
I am a fraud they will see one day
That behind the words I say lie a pain that never goes away
I am jealous of you all
My perfect lies hide all my flaws and cover scars I mask with tears
I hate my life and live through fear and hope
That you do better and can never see m faults
I am in denial of the truth and see only what
I hink to be reality
I laugh at jokes and cry when poked
I get mad when I dont have my way
I can admit these things to myself and to you and hope that one day you see too
What I see whenever I look at you in the mirror of life.