.........a hint of sensuality mixed with a dash of individuality

                These are my confessions.....


..........................

Its been 3 months, 14 days, 16 hours and counting since i have last allowed myself to feel the length, strength, power, desire, swell of a man in me. I have began what can only be labeled as transition into the last few months of 20-something, and i wanted to do something so far fetched that hopefully the hoe in me will realize its time to slow down just a bit. so instead i spend my time in my new apartment learning about me, things like i can indeed cook, i hate a dirty kitchen and that i am constantly cleaning in case someone comes over. lol...im not lonely which is wonderful and i have male companionship but im just not having sex....pray for me...lol

....soooo anxious

i am so overwhelmingly aroused, for the past three days i have been through like 8 panties....shits crazy...

......Cross My Mind

...........your simply occupying more of my mind then a little bit
...............................and while its easy to fall back into the place that we were in
..........I have to say that i like where im at a whole lot better then a little

......ctfu

well people, the countdown to my bday/vacation is on. and for the next 16 days imma be fasting.....so that means....*cringe* im going back on pause. it also means that my workouts are back in full effect as well. other then that my weekend went pretty well. ive been writing alot of stories as well i just havent gotten them off my blackberry and on to my site as yet. but its soon to come. for now i am keeping you entertained with just my daily ramblings..

......Exxxstacy

all i wanna say is  thank u to  this new friend of mind....*wink*....i think we have found a keeper people....i didn't realize i was missing out on some good old fashion sex until i had some good ole fashion sex...the kind of sex that makes your toes curl, the kind of dick you never want to be taken out of your pussy, makes you wanna walk around reliving  each second of sweet bliss...the kind of sex where you "tap out" but you still don't wanna stop.......yup yup...that kind of sex. cant wait to get some more of it...btw...pussy is off pause lol

.....Pussy on Pause

well, its been an interesting couple of weeks since i have been on pause....and let me just say that im hornier then a motherfucker out this bitch though.....whew....minding my damn business and alll kinds of nasty freaky smutty dirty things have entered my mind....if they would enter my pussy i would be straight....on anther note....member that guy..the one i wrote about and said i should just be friends with.....man i need to go back to that....ive been sitting in my mind thinking about his feelings and not wanting to be a bitch...per say...about the situation but i realize that...man his penis just does nothing for me....i mean i get wet...he is attractive....his foreplay is...ehhh..u know...not bad but his dick....its uhm well....its just not my type? sigh....its not leg shakingly good sex is what i mean to say....

.....Moment of Silence

Pussy on Pause.....#thatisall

....food for thought...

 want to succeed in life....i think ive been doing a pretty good job thus far....thats just my Friday thought for the day.....im in a little....no fuck that im in a lot of pain today....sigh...i have a clutch that happens to have a big metal buckle on it....well somehow last night it was under a towel that was on the ground in my room...(what dont judge me) and i stepped on it...at first i thought it was nothing until i felt the pain and saw the blood....man...i would much rather have my pussy throb the way my foot does....

....What I Want

I want a man when I want a man. And when I don't want a man, I want a man that understands that....Aint that some hard shit to explain...............

......packed my emotional baggage

Dear Former Lover,

So, I realized recently that I had been lying to myself. For the past year, I was holding on to us. It wasnt my fault alone, you helped to unconsciously keep my mind focused on you and us and the possibilities that arise literally when we are together. I walked around with our secret only known to a close few. Now I realize that its time for me to tell you that I never got over you. I find myself comparing men to you, not just you but the love filled sex that you provided me with. The emotions that we let build without asking for a permit. I find myself missing every inch of you and constantly comparing new lovers to you. Finding it hard to go on with other men. Ive aborted at least two possible connections with two people I might have had a fighting chance with. I kept thinking maybe its me maybe these men just wanted to use me...then I think about my actions and I realize that maybe they read me before I even put this thought on paper. My actions are those of a callus individual who wanders around seeking self-satisfaction and immediate gratification. And after its won, I take twelve steps backwards in an attempt to have him abandon me because he is not who I wanted. I really wanted you. You showed me though that that while there were feelings of mine you tried to spare you were really careless with my heart. You came all this way home, brought her with you, even though I knew you would....I guess I was waiting for you to tell me, and then still didnt even try to see me. Your half ass attempt was just that half-assed. Yet somehow my college education didnt prepare me for this lesson that you taught me. Ironically enough, you scarred my heart. How did it get involved though? I should have stopped fucking with you the first time I did, because it was when I went back that I ruined myself. I allowed myself to be taken on this trip. You left me twice. Moreover, the third time you came back home, heaven and earth stood in the way of that meeting. I did not understand until today. This very moment writing these words I would have been infected had we fed off each others lust. *deep sigh* and so to you I say I wish you nothing but happiness and success, Im sure somewhere along our history ive said words similar to this. Yet, I mean it this time. Our communications has to cease to exist. You have her, and whoever else your hiding....and Im ok. I wont be here for your pleasure if you are ever to return home, and should I happen to be in the same state as you the same rules apply. I wont lie, *bites lip* id love to have you between my hips. But I know what devastation it will cause. I guess I lied to myself and I did love you. I loved you from my soul, Its because we became friends.  As I approach 29 in a few short weeks the lesson learned is that no you cant be lovers and friends. I can have lovers and I can have friends but I can never have you.  I dont need you to respond with anything, not even an im sorry it wont mean anything to me. Its time for me to cleanse my soul of you and its going to take some time but I cant approach every new guy with you weighing so fucking heavy on my mind. Life has a way of sneaking things on you when you allow yourself to get caught....its time for me to wave goodbye to you. it was fun and now its not.

Regards....Tasty Thoughts

 

....Not that into you

i think i needed to get that out the way so that i can look at you everyday but now i just really rather be friends. i miss laughing and joking with you about this and that...and im hoping that night didn't change any of that. so if your cool, im cool too and it was great, i cant take that from you but id much rather be platonic.

....and he said Im....

Missing you, Wanting you, Needing you, Touching You, Squeezing You, Dreaming of You, Teasing You, Pleasing You, Breathing You, Eating you, Sleeping in you, Thirsting for you


......Fuck Him

word to the wise though....this is one of those weeks from like....who knows where the fuck it came from. my neck hurts, my head hurts, my body hurts....i am trying to understand why i am so jacked up right up now...UGH.....man.....further on in the news....living life without fucking someones man is hard....they keep hollering at me....ladies look..if you dont ask...for proof u can get caught the helll UP...ugh...why do men do this? and again with this dude who doesn't eat pussy but wants to bite my thighs.....*_*

......Thanks to my Fans

aww my sites been picking up a lot of traffic!!! thanks to everyone who is stopping by and telling their friends...dont forget to browse around and email me @ tastethethoughts@gmail.com...if you need me!

.....*extra slick*

feeling a little extra horny today .....

....Clarity

my thoughts are heavy today, i miss the friend that i no longer have. i miss the conversations, i miss the laugh, i miss it all. im a little sad.

....To Do List

ok, so i realize that it makes me sound a bit more promiscuous then i am right? lol...but lets be real i think EVERYONE has a list of people they would like to suck & fuck....sometimes just once to say you did it...and most times u want to smash them every night and twice in the morning. so yes i have a list, but ive had some dudes on this list since high school and i don't actually make a point to go out there and fuck them all...that's just nasty. my list remains just that a list......now if u do get to smash someone on that list its heaven on earth...hopefully..#thatisall

.....i cant even....

so there is this guy that i used to like...and call me what you want...but he said he doesn't eat pussy and i scratched his name off my to do list.....ill get back to that to do list in a second. so anyways...my current screen savor is a pic of my mini skirt with my thigh exposed....dude sees the pic and starts to point to all the places on my thighs that he would leave hickeys.....*squinny eyes*.....i replied...how can your mouth be that close to my pussy and you not stick your tongue in there? i don't get it....

......lost in thoughts

My mind drifts to a place where lust sits somewhere between love and like. During our interlude clothes are removed fingers intertwined legs locked and bodies grind. Kisses sprinkled on your chest bite marks caress my breast, I feel you deep in my skin and I haven't even let you in but this foreplay is insane. Stop. Can I massage your brain? Ill use my lips moistened with  your kiss and slowly lick, until I receive its creamy center but before you enter let the anticipation build a moment longer then plunge deep inside my waters causing my legs to shake and this climax to feel like an earthquake. 

....come to think of it

last night i got to thinking. its been a while...a WHILE...since i let a man give me a hickey....i want one. on my neck...on my back and on my thighs.

....do you know

how bad i want to sit on your face. lick my juices off of your lips and the come face to face with your dick. i imagine what he feels like...in my mouth, inside me, touching me, breasts in your mouth, fuck you sitting on a couch, or bent over somewhere...pulling on my hair. i wanna scream the letters that make up your name. and i wonder if you know....

....a simple equation

Two lips + Two Lips = Fourplay

......today!!!

im not wearing any undies...that is all.

.....Numbers

do they really matter? got into a conversation recently with a friend of mine who asked if it mattered how many partners my mate has had prior to me. and it got me thinking....no it really doesn't matter, at least not to me...was this because of my own numbers? i mean really, does it matter what was done in the past as long as we are both two healthy individuals? further to that the question was....what if the  numbers were low but there was one person in the mix who even Obama knows is ...how do you say...a hoe? email me....tastethethoughts@gmail.com if you got an opine on the matter. i would love to hear from.

......crushing hard

so i spent the last week on jury duty....and lord....*wrings out panties* this one marshall......uhm.....*bites lip*.....and i found it so hard to concentrate in court all week....and the things i wanted to do to him.......wait...then he spoke...*inserts a finger* had a stateside accent out this world....*licks finger*....very deserving of a story....one will soon follow suit....i havent gotten that shy around a male in a long time.....

......you

i see you, i know you come here.....i think you should stop playing and ask me out....might have a ball...

.....Her Room

So i was really feeling Marvins Room by Drake...then i heard this remix by Teyanna Taylor and it spoke to me....this was a hot idea for a song....check it out

Chillin in my bedroom
Wife beater and my panties on
Just got a phone call
That you was out with ya new girl
The n*gga that I did love
Really kinda threw me off
Feel like I'm drownin in sorrow
Where is my lifeguard

-Chorus-
Fuck that new girl that you love so bad
I know you still think about the times we had
I say fuck that new girl that you think you found
But you callin me even when she's around
I'm just sayin what me and you had better
I know your boys have told you that lately
After me you couldn't find better
I notice that your new girl ain't me, ain't me

Kisses from a rebound
She just a girl you keep around
I see all of your phone calls
But I don't have the time to pick up no more
All the shit we been through
And I admit it boy I miss you (damn)
And I been sippin this champagne
A lil tipsy so I called you back to say

-Chorus-
Fuck that new girl that you love so bad
I know you still think about the times we had
I say fuck that new girl that you think you found
But you callin me even when she's around
I'm just sayin what me and you had better
I know your boys have told you that lately
After me you couldn't find better
I notice that your new girl ain't me, she ain't T


You gon be trippin when I'm at a party
You see these n*ggas lookin at my body
You wanna grab me when you see me leavin
Won't take you back and I'll give you the reasons
I told you I'll leave knowin I wanted to stay
You didn't try and let me walk away
Startin to think all n*ggas the same
Look on your face tell me that you're ashamed
Wanted to love you but now I'm afraid
You say you need me and how much you've changed
I don't believe you it could be just game
Trust isn't somethin you give out ??
Didn't wanna give up, Say you want me back now
Got my feelins mixed up I just wanna move on
I need someone that I could lean on
And it won't be a n*gga like you

I'm just sayin we had better
I can't even remember that word
Because you tellin me that you need her bad
Your new girl ain't me, she ain't me

....Marvins Room

Drake hit the nail on the head with this tune right here.....its powerful enough to invoke though in anyone who has been involved in a sexual relationship with a mate....u know we all have that one that got away...and how many of us are guilty of drunkin nights and going through the phone...runnin up on his number and thinking...damn...fuck it...imma call you..."y dont we kick it no more" dont u miss my lips on your dick" u know...shit like that....but i digress....while im currently not in that state of mind...i appreciate the shit outta this new song...and this one line right here yall....man o man....
"I donít think Iím conscious of making monsters Outta the women that I sponsor til it all goes bad But shit itís all good"...........that line is ill and u know what it can be interpreted in any way......welp yall im outtie.

....u know something

i feel like i coulda had a v-8....

....Choc * O * late...Brown Suga!!

feeling great....listening to Jill Scott...this is my fav interlude.....

Honey molasses, ebony majestry
Chocolate brown sugar, sweet epiphany
I waited for your call but you chose not to call me
I wondered what happened
Were you inside a safe space and too I wondered
Were you thinking about me and if you were
Why was I feeling so lonely
By the phone, alone to the bone
Although the night before you were in my home my body my dome
In a circle of passion we Paris Italy Japan Africa Rome
We made music, we tromboned
It was magic the way it happened
Pure electricity
I felt so excited and afraid at the same time
I don 't know whether to sing or to rhyme
Call me
Honey molasses, ebony majestry
Chocolate brown sugar, sweet epiphany

Hi....um...I was calling...I...last night was....last night was....um...
Look...just don't...just don't be afraid ok...alright...I hope you call me back...and
...I'll talk to you then....I..I.. hello!...hello...hello....hello

...fun times

What a wonderful weekend i had!!!! I got confirmed notice that this week will be great...last Friday night.....went to dinner with friends, watched a movie, went to a comedy show and worked it out on the dance floor....then yesterday...i got confirmation from another friend on a speculation i already had....whose having a great June? I am

....Morally Speaking....

can i sit on your face....ijs

....I'm Just

waiting for the right girl to let her kiss my pearl...........brush her lips right on my clit. 

......Nervous

Nervous that I have to wait
Ashamed that I let it get this way
One Night & my body shakes
Hoping it wasn't a mistake

...waterfalls

The other night.....OMG....the other fucking night......*splash* this dude does it to me....pussy still in shock....faints 

......damn part duex

damn I shouldn't a did that. can't stop my mind from repeating what I hope is not a regret. A simple act has me out my mind thinking going crazy losing track of time. And then that embrace letting me know I was safe and our secret was between us. Never before did I feel that kind of passion. I wasn't even looking for this it fukin happened. I set myself up imagining it never would. I gave up honestly on finding something like this. Is it to soon to say that I would fight to keep it?

...Damn

I used my lips to kiss making this more passionate then I wanted it to be

I am unsure about how this will go and I donít know if I wanna take it slow

I mean I said I was committed and indeed he is too but when we get together

Its something brand new...one night has me making plans

Tryna make you my man and hoping that you understand

Praying that your not just playing and these feelings have no expiration

I wanna call you, I wanna text you, but I donít wanna seem desperate

How could I let you flip the script that I worked so hard to write

How and why do I miss you, want you next to me more then inside me

Damn I shouldnít have kissed you

Dear Diary....soooo...

there is a dude in my phone whose name is dude with nice cock but wack stroke.....dont judge me 

....forgotten

I am feeling a bit forgotten and cast off to the side. Its almost as though...my issues dont matter because they are not yours. While i carry yours, mine, and anyone else who needed me to listen. Almost as if its my fault like i cant be there...its been how many weeks and unless i bring it to your attention i dont think you understand my apprehension and this tension has just begun. the truth about being honest is that you have to lie to yourself in order to break out of society's mold, u know the one that says dont pass go. Its almost like a vision of blurriness...and im only fighting me because u have forgotten and i dont really care to have to remind you. 

Dear Diary.....a very nasty girl moment

i slept with two guys in one night...

signed management

DICKtated not Read.  

.....Pussy off Pause

despite what people may think about my sexual appetite. I sometimes do enjoy momentary breaks from penis....Sometimes you just need to sit and think for five minutes..so i put my pussy on pause for a while and sometime last week this bitch said...yea no sorry...time to be taken off...and so i have. All I know is..if this new prospect gets any...and he is headed in that direction...man o man is he in for a treat...wonder what his dick tastes like? mmmmm cant wait!

Dear Diary...i feel trapped

i suddenly feel as though nothing i want will truly come to fruition....i am just hoping that this is not the way it is. 

Dear Diary....have u ever

thought to yourself that you wish some people would grow the fuck up....i have...i do...daily...its like...why keep repeating the same dumb ass behavior thinking that something will miraculously happen....i am not sure...then they complain about the fact that they are mad about something thats really no one else's fault but their own.... shrugs...i guess....

Dear Diary... I'm so Lonely...

I’m so lonely

No one in the world but me

No one understands the hurt be me

No words to explain

My heart beats

Every time I think your name

My eye blinks

Then my mind runs across your face

My brain freeze

Nothing to change the game

It must be

I had to let go of the day

Cause it won’t be

Nothings a fairytale

A reality

In lonely

I’m sad

My heart hurts

My head hurts

The sad songs

They do no wrong

They comfort me

They comfort me… 

...with love comes great responsibility 

to be in love is a wonderful experience and the devastation that heartbreak brings is tragic. but to give up on love because it has not worked to your belief is more tragic then the heartbreak its self. you see, love is a responsibility. the word love is easy to say but the actions behind it are greater than the concept of it. The responsibility of being with a person and seeing beyond the imperfections is one aspect and yes by all means to truly love someone for who they are means seeing their personality and knowing that it wont change coupled with the understanding that this is what you are willing to take on. To be in love also means that you have to remember who you are and what you want and where you stand. Love did not say over look the signs of failure. Love is not stronger then a lie. Love can not heal everything. I dont know how many of us understand though that love is naturally jealous. Love is selfish, Love does not wish to be shared beyond that one person. Love is a variant and many people who are all different can be loved by you in different ways.  when your heart is broken understand that the love it once held wont hold the same. Think of  your heart like a mirror...and while even a broken mirror can be pieced back together the cracks remain.  but what does that mean?  that you cant love again because it broke? No, it means that it will never break that way again. no two people will break your heart the same and thats why we pick up the pieces and re group them. we all deal with heartbreak differently, and by now your probably asking where the responsibility of love comes in. The responsibility of love and being in love comes in where while being in love with someone you are still able to see a situation clearly. Love does not blind us, what blinds us and often leads us down the path to heartbreak is our natural ability to dislike change. you see, as humans we like comfort and routine. And when you have found that person and you are in the routine of love and being in love and being happy, you neglect the signs of destruction. often times the signs are there and others can see them. but we are so callus to our own ignorant bliss and our love irresponsibility that we deny that and pretend like things are okay. We are all blessed with the power to know when things are not good for us, but we are not all strong enough to be able to walk away when we need to. Not all love is meant to last forever, and not all love is meant to be monogamous. Understand the love that you are in and live each day like its a new. Do not dwell on the times when things were good, Do not dwell on the times they are bad. Live each moment in the present. Love with great responsibility and love with honesty. If it is meant to be a lasting love it will be and if not and your heart gets broken dont go back down that path but turn a new instead. remember this, we have the ability to love everyone we meet and the choice to not. so again, please i urge you to love responsibly.

Dear Diary....from one secret to the next 

there is this guy that im digging, ive only seen him once...it was by chance...he was fine; is fine. tall dark, everything i want with a lil something im not so into...but no worries...its not like i haven't been down a road similar to this. i have. shrugs...like i was saying, i saw him and there was that eye contact...u know the kind that if two people have...usually means someones penis will be escorted into my vagina...that look....*giggle* i have a crush....o my! but then i saw him three more times in that one day...and i knew...deep in my pussy i knew...this would be my next conquest....lol...matter of fact there are two!.....and all it took was for my lover to move.....smh...imagine im f- wait let me stop...imma use this word mad light im faithful to my lover...while and if he is here...cause he is just that a lover..and not ment to be the dick for me all year....but these two i now speak of....one whose sexiness i never noticed the other i just never noticed...hmm wonder if they like threesomes????? 

Dear Diary.....Ive got plans to put my mouth around it

i wanna gargle it, make it wet, slap it around my face, play with just the head, juggle his balls, caress his shaft....man i cant wait to get that long thick beast in my hands...guide it to my mouth and trace my lips...look up and ask daddy u ready for this? get him lost in my throat  and keep him close till he explodes in my mouth and i swallow the sweet familiar...yum, ive got plans...and they involve my lips and that dick

Dear DIaRy..who let me on here like this 

margarita paradise

Dear Diary...ive lost another virginity quality

I made a video of me playing wit my pussy the other night...two days ago to be exact and today i sent it to him...hope he enjoys it as much as i enjoyed making it

Dear Diary....let me tell you a secret

nothing compares to the sounds a  man moaning under your touch....

Dear Diary... The Next Encounter

So nothing was suppose to happen but it did, i admit i did nothing to stop it; he came over and before you knew it we were selecting which condom we would be using. I bent over, obeying his every command. He entered.. mmm, his dick was so thick, long, fit so perfectly in me. Felt so good entering my wetness... I couldn't resist, I began throwing back on his dick... He just stood there and took it like the good boy I knew he was. But shortly thereafter he stopped me, he told me i was so tight and that i wasn't the one that was to be in control. So as before i obeyed him and stopped popping my juicy pussy on his succulent dick. He turned me over on my back and slipped his dick inside of me ever so slowly... I like that. But i realized that he remained on the same tempo, which was extremely slow. I said nothing but just let him take control, thinking things would speed up some more... Well it sure didn't he said, "man, your so tight, mmmm... i can't".... and before you knew it... he came. There i laid, no more than a minute later after this began... Do I give him another chance? I really want to, I mean, his dick is nothing to throw away. It deserves to be trained and adored. Oh... He was soooo beautiful, i think i want to taste him on the next encounter...

Dear Diary....him

its 7am on a friday morning, and i should be getting ready for the day, Its not gonna be a long one, but at the same time i have a lot to accomplish. but...i cant stop thinking about him.....how much i want to have sex with him,. the things i want to do to/with/for him...how i want to ride his face then lick my juices off and suck on his dick...have u seen that shit? hmmmm its my screensaver on my phone....its so gorgeous and thick....just...damn i had to lick my lips....i want to take my time and use my tongue all over his body...play with his balls in my mouth....i can juggle...but he doesnt know that...yet....i want to beat his dick over my face and squeeze him between my breats and have him suck on my nipples...fell his lips kissin and sickin on them hungrily..rubbing that penis...oh yes that dick all over these thihgs and tease this pussy, his pussy...part her lips with the head of that dick hmmmm his dick while he is kissin me...whisperin in my ear "whose pussy is this" right as he is about to enter....I really want to have sex with you...my niples are calling out for your tounge...smh....the things i wanna do to him..his hands i wanna feel all over my body...touching me like he created me and needed to make sure all her parts were really that perfect....they are...there yours...hmm...im going to go take a shower

Dear Diary... Epiphany 

Ive had several over the past few years but nothing like the one today....i feel alive and vibrant and like im ready to stand on a mountain top and tell the whole world....*im free*...and its a feeling i hope stays with me for as long as its ment to be

Dear Diary.... my confession

my pussy is wet... but thats not why im really writing to you... i have a confession... last night while taking a drive, i was on the phone with someone who holds a special place in my kitty... anyways, i began touching myself as i drove, i made sure to let him know... he began to make it hard for me to drive, so i pulled over on the side of the highway and began touching her (my kitty) uncontrollably. He could hear the moans and splashes, which made his dick hard... i enjoyed the pics he sent me of his dick being jacked... he is so sexy and i cant wait to meet him... i wanna taste him.

Dear Diary....Pics

i get alot of penis pictures sent to me here and there along the way...and i dunno....u guys ever slept with someone a long time ago and then see the penis again and think....huh.....its a tad small...just....a thought

Dear Diary.....

I HAVE NEVER SEEN COMING TO AMERICA...AND WHAT

Dear Diary... <3

listen, i just wanted to let you know that i love you, yes someone does...it might not be the one you want to love you..but yet isnt it how it always is? 

Dear Diary...i just wanted to type out a thought as it occurred..

to understand and accept the end as the beginning..its not easier said than done. to allow change to conquer habit..is when you know you have won. But to allow fear to overpower all your emotions and leave you without peace...is when you have lost the simplicity in it all. You see its so easy for me to sit here and watch the words appear on the screen one letter at a time. but how many of us think that its actually an amazing thing. The other night i thought to myself in the shower that  satellites are pretty friggin awesome. i mean think about it, we live on an island surrounded by nothing but ocean and somehow we are still able to connect to the internet, have cell phone towers, and also watch tv....like WOW, lol....im only trying to say that its that simple...life is...at least to me...when you break it down and think of how complex things are...and your realize that something as simple as the concept of time and space is simply amazing.   

Dear Diary....a real moment

Lord, i come to u for serenity, a piece of mind. There are some things I just can't shake off, some things i cant let go of... He is one of them, or at least the main one. Or what if he isnt even it... What if my problems lie lower down and I use our suppression as an escape... I dont know, that's why I'm coming to you Lord. Please help me, lead me in the direction that will ease my pain, head, and assure me of a brighter days. I love you, and i want to love me, but i need serenity... grant me that dear Lord. Amen

Dear Diary....I wanna kiss a girl and like it

i think i might be bisexual.....but i mean, she can eat me out...but i dont think that i am ready to eat her out....i may be willing to play with her breasts and kiss her on the lips....maybe even fuck me with a strap on....but...i dont know how far i can reciprocate.....lets take this one day at a time...

Dear Diary..is this thing on

 hmmm... would u let me spit a few words on ur mic and maybe swallow ur thoughts... All in the sake of knowledge..

Dear Diary...what you do to me

When I c u my pussy gets wet, when I think of u she pulsates... u make my nipples hard, writing this is just turning me on... I picture u inside of me... Ur dick sliding in as my walls grip his tenderness... mmmm... did u feel that... *squirt... u made me do that.... there it was again... mm, ur dick inside of me is so erotic so divine... yes daddy, fuck me... mmm... fuck this pussy... I've been a bad girl, punish me with ur cock... beat me with it, on my ass, my pussy, on my face... stick it bad in my kitty... yes stuff her with ur dick... Make her swallow every inch... ur dick... just u, this is what you do to me...

Dear Diary....

Am i living my life the right way?

....I just want to know why

i wish i knew why some people just suddenly act like your not there....I mean i guess the attachment never formed but still....i think i read to deeply into things at time. I mean i thought we had a connection...but i was apparently wrong...and im not judging you know im not really even mad at the situation....im just hurt...yea hurt it the right word....i am hurt to think that you or anyone else... wouldn't even give me the decency to at least say how you really feel...i feel like i give ample people that respect..cause u know what...the truth yea it hurts but when you pretend that i dont exisit or that i just fell off the face of the earth although im sitting across from you in the room....that...wow...that hurts (Brian McKnight just came on... splash) and you probably feel it shouldnt right cause your stronger than that...but hey...we are all human..and really i just wanna know why you would do that to me....* shrugs* .....damn....i feel like a bitch....

..help

I feel so alone right now....

....wet

I need her to be strong so that i can be strong also, but its been a minute and she hasn't eaten. i dont know how much longer i can contain her, she is ready to explode and be taken advantage of. as we speak she is here drenched in a pool of thick wetness making every move almost climatic, and all she is hearing is his voice recanting times of erotic pleasure...the way his dick feels, the way my pussy tightens, mentions of 69's and back shots, and  squirting and i cant stop...she is leaking and shaking and vibrating, the poor batteries that i will kill tonight...the birthday sex i got ......the birthday sex i gave......the way i say your name....shit, i might need to excuse my self and go into the rest room and fix this itch real quick....my juices would flow down his hand...and then he would make me stand....only the wind carrying my screams could tell the story better than us....damn i wish i could just sit on your face one more time, every time...but right now...i need her to be strong....and maintain her composure.....until and if we meet again.....

....She is pretty

Ever had someone make her feel pretty? Well he does... The way he stares, touches, kisses, licks, rubs himself all over her... He takes his time with her... Makes her smile, feel warm, appreciated, loved, admired, desired... He makes her feel whole, so pretty... This is what he does to my kitty

....Am I asking for to much?

i get looked at sideways when i say i dont want to dumb down my list of what i want in a husband...and that i may be missin out on a great person...but for me...its more than that...i mean call me shallow...but i know its not impossible to find an attractive man, that has a degree, and his hustle is not selling weed....i dont need to b rich and i dont want to be poor......i wanna be able to hold a conversation with you about whatever....i wanna learn from him and him from me....i want him to essentially b my best friend...but all these little boys are wandering around...slinging thier dicks as if thats enough...and these little girls are accepting that bullshit and making babies left and right talkin i love you's when really its i like you enough....where is the man that wants to make love to my soul not just my body... have me at work sitting and thinking about what we spoke about not jus what he can do with his tounge...i know he is out there...and i will find him...just gotta weed out those boys to get to my man.

....I can't let myself go

I need to admit to you, that I....me....I am afraid to be....with...anyone....for years, i have sabotaged on purpose every relationship that i have been in with a man....no matter what he may think of me....maybe he only wanted to fuck...maybe he wanted to make me his wife, but in the end the decision is mine....and i choose to not be...because my heart cant take the unknown...i know how to love i just dont know how to be loved...or to let love in...without the anxiety and the jealousy and the emotions that come with....but i also dont want to be alone....there are few who i wish i had let love me....and one who i wish never hurt me.....but in the end...its all me...because i am a little damaged...its not anything that cant be healed...because it can...i just dont know how to leave the wound alone...i hope i learn soon though, because i do want you and i do want to love. 

....BiPoLaR eMoTiOnS

It's so funny caz when I watch a picture of us I seem afraid... Then I watch one with me alone and I still see the fear.. Thing is I don't know what that fear is, where it's coming from... My journey is so fucked up but I have no one to blame but myself... *shrugs*.... Thing is I want you there... Thing is I don't want to go back with you and have a repeat... How do we change amd get over the past and still love? Does the hurt really go? It's been a while since I've cried over my grandmothers death but to be honest that doesn't mean that i've healed... It just means I don't think about it as much... When I do yes I may smile at the wonderful times but I surely do have moments of sadness... How can that be the same for a relationship... Well let me tell u it is... The simple point of loss is the matter... It doesn't matter what form but when uve lost someone it is the most hardest thing to cope with (in some cases). Some people just up and go; on to the next. Hmmm... I guess it all depends on how one another felt. And I can say this... I surely feel (I can't say felt, cuz the emotions and everything are still there) so much love in my heart, so much pain of the situation, so much need and want to be with him, yet the past haunts me and for some reason I won't set it free... Maybe because I haven't allowed time to pass and be, I'm rushing... I admit that. But when will this all end? The bipolar emotions. I'm trying so hard not to push him away yet maybe that's exactly what I'm doin... Hmmmm... *shrugs*... life... I don't knw where I'm headed but I hope that I figure it out quickly and find my happiness and solace in life...

....I miss you more than I knew

Who knew...i mean who could say that this is how i would really feel. You know...i wasn't sure that i wanted to admit this...but i feel like something is missing inside of me...even before....when i was telling myself that i didn't need you in my life because i could move one...i should have known it was all one big lie... designed to make me feel like i could get out the moment...to which i did but now i dont know how to get it back...i mean..how do i call or write or say hi even....its been months....i dunno....its just how im geeing inside...but pride is a hard thing to break....and i just wanted